Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Friday January 28th 2011 – Robots in the Skies.

Never has a Friday been less so. OK, so that’s a ridiculous lie that I can’t even continue beyond a very short sentence, but it was not joyful and bouncy like a normal Friday.
The truth is that whilst I was pretty annoyed about the idea of the whole work thing saying ta-ta to me, before I was actually ready to say goodbye, I wasn’t that upset about it.
Today that changed. Strangely, it was all over a couple of days holiday. So often it’s the niggley little things that really do the damage. You know, the one’s that get stuck in your teeth, those tiny stringy evaders that no amount of flossing can vanquish.
As my former employer was taken over by a bigger more impressive entity, it wasn’t ever going to take this enormous robot long to start asserting its clout. In fact, it’s now time for the new machine to really start flexing its giant pistons and completely crush the tinny remnants of yesterday.  Unfortunately, HR isn’t promoting the Transformers vibe. They prefer to call this one sided battle ‘Integration Communication –Phase 4’. Sounds like Decepticon doublespeak to me!
We are to attend these communications face to face, which obviously means getting in a car and going further than Hazlet. Not good. Secondly, the rumour mill has exploded and all sorts of nasty debris have been hitting my inbox. Apparently, pensions will be abolished, car allowances will be slashed, bonuses made obsolete and holiday a distant memory.
Now, I know that this nonsense. I know that even if the Big-Bad- Stink- Bot wanted to stamp out these feeble distractions, well, the law says ‘Sorry Tin-Man, that’s just not cricket’. However, knowing that it can’t actually happen doesn’t stop me worrying about it and it’s just not enough to prevent me from feeling sad and defeated.
‘Please don’t take my holiday Great Monolith. I know I’m not always a good girl, but I really need it. Pretty - pleeease?’
Pathetic! You’ll face the monster girl, but you’ll face it with courage!
Well, I am going to have to go into the office at least. The new offices, as of course the old ones are no more.
So, it has been decided that on February 15th along with my colleagues – Corporal Almost- Cuddly and Flambé Sue, I will attend one of the ‘assimilation seminars’.
I can’t help it, I’m terrified. This is partly because going to Goliath HQ will mean travelling down the M4 in rush hour. However, I suppose the biggest fear is just the threat of change...more stinking change.
What is that strange voice in my head?
‘Find sanctuary Marcella 5.’

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